Girls Are Dum (Like the Phat of Fat)

[Harvard Sailing Team - Boys Will Be Girls: Night Out]

KRIS WRITES:
This is real life. THIS IS REAL. This is one of my favorite YouTube videos of all time. Pay attention to the details. You might think this kind of thing is a complete exaggeration, but I can vouch for the female portion of this video. Not all women are like this, but I know some. I definitely know some. I have BEEN that girl. I have.

Facts + Observations / Things You Should Know (bulleted outline signifies credibility):

• Girls expect answers even when they're not asking questions. Always. Always.
• Girls like to agree to dance very early on in the night. They like making pacts.
• There is a HUGE DIF between "yea" and "yeah" and "yup". "Yea" means you could care less and "yup" means you're in a great mood.
• If you don't respond to a text right away, she might think you want to end it - I don't make the rules, I just observe.
• "Go have fun with your friends." HAHA! Good luck, buddy. You're screwed if you order her to go have fun with your friends and not you.
• Girls talk about how they should be able to say whatever they want to their boyfriend. Danger, dude. 

Things I have actually done... And, if you're a girl I bet you have, too. Don't judge me. This is just pure honesty:

• Cried when a guy didn't text me back after I said "Hope you had a good weekend" which does not need a response.
• Made a pact to have a deep talk with my girlfriends later in the night. And we look forward to them. 
• "Accidentally" dialed a guy just to "accidentally" talk to him
• "Accidentally" texted a guy just to "accidentally" text him
• Erased a guy's phone number out of my phone so many times when I was upset that I memorized it... Because, erasing his number erases him from your mind, right?

Though, I must admit, I think I'm much cooler these days (saving face). Here's something... I often act like the dude in this video as well. Do you know when that is? When I'm not interested in the guy. It's not called "hard to get". It's called "not interested."

And, for fun, here's something about myself. When I was in college I ran into a guy I almost dated in high school. I (thought I) broke his heart and wanted to apologize for being so selfish. When I apologized, he didn't remember any of it. In fact, I'm not even sure he knew who I was.

TANYA WRITES:

First of all, I am Chris AND Rebecca at the same time. Depends on what day it is and what side of the bed I woke up on and what I had for breakfast. One day I will totally act like a dude. Dudes aren’t into verbalizing their text conversations with each other. No one really cares about if your girlfriend wants to know if you locked the door. Most conversations are about sports and if not, they are conversations taking place during a sporting event. I know these things because I know how to be a bro, it’s part of being a dyke. Oh, and for the record, in LGBT culture, I am considered a “soft butch.” 

Soft butch: A soft butch is a lesbian whose appearance is generally androgynous. She may dress and act in a masculine manner, but be soft and more feminine in the inside. Also, a soft butch can be someone who falls somewhere between butch and femme, but closer to the butch side. SOURCE: lesbianlife.com

Since I am a woman, I can attest to the fact that women do discuss and dissect and destroy all text conversations. I am such a huge part of these conversations. “Totes obvi” is one of my favorite things to say. I always think I know what men “really mean” and what they are thinking because I’m a dyke. False. I never know. I’m just like every other girl, except it’s not my problem because I don’t have intimate relationships with men. In other words, I don’t care.

KRIS WRITES:

Well, said, Tanya. Well said.