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| I did not take this picture. I Googled "not funny". |
This blog is probably the best and worst idea I’ve ever had. I’m not funny. I think I’m funny, but I’m not really funny.
This blog idea was born via Facebook chat with Tanya. Let me tell you how we met. Our parents dated when we were in elementary school. We used to play together on the weekends. Remember when you used to “play”? I was a big fan of prank calling. I used to make my friends prank call the guys I liked. If that was you, well, now you know. I wanted my dad to marry her mom so Tanya could be my sister. She had a really cool room, which was a huge plus. One day, when we were playing at her house, I slipped at their pool and went face first into a cactus. That was pure enjoyment… for our little brothers. Cactus to the face. Awesome.
I was Facebook chatting with Tanya tonight and I clicked on her profile link to do a little stalking. Sunday night = Facebook stalking, duh. I saw a link to her blog. I clicked on it (that's how you navigate the "information superhighway" (as Al Gore first described the internet)). I really liked it. Tanya is a very funny girl and I’m thinking, OK, I’m honestly way too lazy to do a whole blog, but I could split one with Tanya. We could make fun of ourselves and people in general and maybe get a few laughs. Or none. She took the bait. She fell for this AWFUL idea.
Here’s the catch. Tanya only wants to post when she is hungover. She thinks she’s funnier when she’s hungover. Really it’s just the lack of judgment on what’s funny, but I’ll give her that one. Myself? I think I am funny. I honestly do. I will do anything for a good laugh. I like people who laugh a lot. I think it’s the most attractive trait a person can possess. It’s a sign of happiness. Happiness is sexy. So, this blog is going to try to make you laugh. I want to make you happy.
There’s going to be A LOT of talk about Facebook (which means anything) on this blog. Facebook is the birth of a new language. It is literally the biggest thing to hit human social behavior since the invention of language, and, well… sex. I think sex was the first thing to hit social behavior. That was deep. Some could argue that Facebook is all about sex when you’re single (or not). Facebook profiles are an extension of a person’s being. In many cases, I think people have more of a life on Facebook than they do in real life.
I LOVE talking about genders. Within the differences between men and women lie the best laughs this life can offer. Women are awesome and I love men. This is getting really profound. “Awesome”. “I love men”.
I also plan to make fun of myself. A lot. It’s something I do really well and I enjoy doing things well. It’s the competitive side of myself, I guess.
TANYA WRITES:
I literally just sat here for 20 minutes and tried to think of a first sentence that did not start with the word so. I love starting a blog that way. So, I just got home from my annual Halloween trip to La Jolla where I party at my best friend’s house on the beach for an entire weekend with my friends and where I redefine the word “legendary” over and over again. I know, life is rough. On the real though, this hangover is rough. I jump on Facebook to check out everyone’s Halloween pics, and I get this beautiful Facebook chat message from Kris. It reads: “I love your blog.” This is an instant hangover cure. I love when people go out of their way to compliment me. I mean, I love it.
Backstory: Kris and I became friends at a very young age because her single father and my single mother totally dated.Kris might not appreciate this, but her dad was a fox. Nuff said. We got to hang out all the time and went on our parent’s dates with them. I thought Kris was so cool I wanted to be just like her. We had a blast together. One of the best photoshoots I’ve ever taken is on the beach in Half Moon Bay with Kris and our little brothers. Needless to say, I cried when our parents stopped dating.
Back to the current story, recap: Kris was just praising me for my awesome blog writing skills (that was not sarcasm), and we come to the conclusion that we are hilarious hungover and that we need to share this with the world. And on this day “Read It And Die” was born. Kris was throwin’ around all of these big words and phrases like “Social construction” and “Comedic psychoanalysis,” but when it comes down to it, analyzing things that we know about in a funny way is super fun.
Also, I mainly agreed to do this because Kris is insane and it makes me love her. Some examples from our current fb convo: “i will talk about how sometimes i like to cry for attention when im drunk.” “i like it when you make fun of me cause i like anything that has to do with me.” Amazing right? I said I’d only post hungover but since I’m not in college anymore and almost all of my friends have moved out of Chico, I’ll post sober more often.
Aight yo, it’s T-shirt time. Get ready to get slizzered by my wizzords.
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LOVE,
Kristayna
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